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Identity: The fact of being who a person is Identity is one of those things that begins to develop even before we are aware of what identity is. And throughout life, our identity is largely shaped by the relationships we engage in. Our identity is that we are a child, a friend, a nephew, a student, a wife, a mother, an executive, etc. But what happens to your identity when your relationships change? As we grow and our situations and relationships change, these changes can

Regulation - the act or process of regulating The term emotional regulation gets thrown around a lot these days, but what does that term really mean? Emotional regulation does not mean that you don't ever have emotions that bring dis-ease or make you a bit uncomfortable. Emotional regulation doesn't mean that nothing that happens to or around you bothers you. And emotional regulation definitely doesn't mean that you have things all figured out. What emotional regulation do

Worth - deserving to be treated or regarded in the way specified One day my boss and I were discussing my upcoming schedule. He asked me my schedule preferences and I told him. We had to do some negotiations but eventually circled back and landed on the preferences I had first set forth. After a few weeks passed it was time for my new schedule. When I looked, the schedule he had provided me for work was not what we had agreed on and I pointed out this discrepancy. He rem

Fair : impartial and just "Life isn't fair." Let's be real, everyone has said these words at one time or another in their life. Maybe some of you have said these very words just this very month or week, or maybe you even said some iteration of these words just today. But what if anyone who has said these words has actually been wrong? What if life actually indeed is fair? Maybe fairness is giving something exactly what it needs. And maybe that's exactly what life does. D

You: used to refer to the person or people that the speaker is addressing That impossible co-worker, that difficult child, that stubborn employee, that impossible spouse. We all encounter situations in our lives that feel difficult, sometimes even impossible maybe. When we find ourselves in those moments, it is extremely easy to blame the other. However, in all of these circumstances, you are the problem. Now, before you take offense, let me explain. You are not causing

Option: a thing that may be chosen Key number 4 is one that many people take for granted, but that is very important. Truth number 4 is that you always have options. In my opinion, this is the most powerful truth of the four. If you don't remember any of the other three truths, this is the one to remember. Regardless of your situation or circumstance, you always have options. You get to choose the way you move forward in every situation you find yourself in. Once you re

Growing: undergoing natural development; becoming greater over a period of time The fact that you are here reading this blog post tells me that you are a work in progress. Your interest in CABS suggests that you want more. You want more peace, more emotional regulation, more opportunities, more freedom, more productivity, more something. There is something (or somethings) that you are striving toward, that requires change from you. And change does not happen without growth

Worth: the level at which someone deserves to be valued. There are several truths that you must accept in order to keep your power (and...

Responsible: having an obligation to do something The only feelings you are responsible for are your own. We all have a variety of...

Power: the capacity or ability to direct or influence the course of events. Many of us give our power away multiple times each day. ...

Resiliency: the capacity to withstand or recover from difficulties. When you shield the ones you love from experiencing hurt, sadness,...

Boundary: a line that marks the limits of an area Boundaries are crucial to living a healthy and whole existence. Sometimes, when we...

Path: a way or track laid down or made by continual treading Sometimes we know what we want, yet we choose to avoid doing what is...

Value: the regard that something is held to deserve In the song "Infidelity" Taylor Swift says, "You know there's many different ways...

Healing: the process of making or becoming healthy again We all have trauma - that's a fact. If you are an adult, you have experienced...

Complacency: self-satisfaction accompanied by unawareness of dangers or deficiencies The feeling of contentment is a beautiful one. If...

Grace: Courteous goodwill The word grace has multiple meanings. When thinking about grace in terms of interacting with people, I think of...

Story: An account of people and events We all think of our time on earth in different ways. I think of this earthly journey as a story. ...

Feelings - An emotionally driven state Feelings are a strange thing. Feelings bubble up inside of us to give us information about the...