The Keys to Keeping your Power: Key 1

Responsible: having an obligation to do something

The only feelings you are responsible for are your own. We all have a variety of feelings that stem from our emotions. Sometimes, those feelings are warm and comfortable. Sometimes, those feelings are harsh and undesirable. No matter what you are feeling, the feelings are yours and you, and only you, are responsible for them. Once you realize this key, you will have more power and freedom over your life.

Often, we try to manage or be responsible for the feelings of others without even realizing it. People commonly say things like, "Don't feel bad" or "You shouldn't feel that way" or "I shouldn't have made you feel like that". All of these sayings express a desire to control the feelings of someone else. However, it is not your place to tell someone else how they should or should not feel in any given situation. Instead, it is your job to allow people to feel what they feel and decide what you would like to do in response. And although your actions are capable of affecting the way others feel, you cannot make anyone feel anything.

It is important to understand that just like you can't make other people feel a certain way, they can't make you feel a certain way. We have probably all said one, or more, of the following, "You made me so mad" or "I can't believe you made me feel like that" or "I feel like this because of you". In all of these instances, you are making others responsible for your feelings, when in reality, only you are responsible for your feelings. Now, it is very possible, and also likely, that the actions of others affect how you feel. This is just as true as the fact that your actions will affect the way other people feel. But having an effect on and causing are two very different things.

When you realize that other people can't control your feelings, even if they want to, then you take power back over your own feelings. When you have the power over your own feelings, you realize that you get to choose to ignore your feelings, wallow in your feelings, run from your feelings, or learn from your feelings. Once you stop wasting your energy on trying to be responsible for the feelings of others, you will have more energy to focus on your own feelings and how to best handle them.

Feelings are beautiful and complicated experiences. Realizing that we don't need to carry other people's feelings gives us the opportunity to have more energy to fully experience and appreciate our own feelings.

With Gratitude,